Ain’t no sunshine…

… when she’s gone. And she’s gone. And I keep forgetting after almost 17 years I don’t have a dog anymore and I keep looking for her. I kept saying that she’s the only normal person around me… and she’s a dog. She’s been a real member of the family and she knew it. She had to be in the centre of attention all the time. She had to be around, because she was one of us.

Thursday we’ve visited Zimi finally. First time since she had her #2. And somehow I just could not tell her. Sidenote: Gedi still likes me. 🙂 Friday I met Ria and as always it was so nice hanging with her. Yesterday I was crying to Goten that just a week ago I had my birthday and I still had a dog. And on our way home we didn’t even find a damned place where I could get a baklava…

I’d say I keep eating all the sweets to cheer me up, but it pretty much just started with getting 3 cakes for my birthday. I can’t complain, there’s certainly some love flowing around here. 🙂 Today sis brought me another let’s call it pancake-cake, now with the pure intention of cheering me up. I guess that cake’s going to be gone by tomorrow. XD And she told me how my baby had a great life and how happy she was. I guess so, but it doesn’t make it any better.

Okay, so let’s try to sum up the past month or so. It really seems like my Muse is gone. Him as well. I’m muse-less. I’m dog-less. It’s no good. I started to doubt my guardian angel, but I think he might really be it. Whatever, I think I’m just losing my common sense. If I had any left.

In my last blogpost I mentioned that we were planning on going to this cosplay event. And we went. It was quite nice. We’ve watched the cosplay competition, I tried some board game – Dice city to be precize and it was nice. But just like I said previously, I know how much I’d play with new board games. Pretty much as much as I play with my old ones. Some people asked to take photos with me, which is totally cool. I went for my shadowhunter Sailor Mars look. It was a cosplay-farsang (double dress-up) afterall  I had to… And people seemed to like it. Even though it didn’t turn out nothing like I planned. Especially my runes. *sigh* But it seemed like people liked it anyway. 🙂 Even one of the commercial TV channels asked me to give an interview, but as I’m not that good with cameras we just agreed on a cutaway shot of me (or whatever it’s called). Have a look at the report here.

It was nice meeting some people of the good old “meet” times, even though most of them don’t even remember me. There was this smaller after-party like event as well, where me made few new buddies. They keep asking me if I go to the Spring MondoCon next weekend, but I don’t really feel like going. We’ll see though. It’s a nice feeling that people want to hang with me. And maybe it’s just better if I’m not home, where I keep looking for the dog. But I don’t feel like talking to people. Except for a few ones. And I don’t feel like acting nice to strangers at a probably crowded place. Especially as it keeps turning against me.
So fucking annoying, I act nice to people and they misunderstand me. Like last night Goten’s drunk friend. Who the hell gave him permission to touch me? And I was a lady I didn’t break his hand or sent him to hell or anything. Why do people think they can touch me, just because I’m nice? Damn. This makes me think of the trip to Kenya and that we had a meeting with some of the Kenyan team. It was so nice meeting them. 🙂 There was only one new guy there who made his debute with saying something like “Don’t judge me, I’ve got a wife, but I’m not taking her.” – to the next trip. Oh well… Okay… Whatever… Not my life…

And fortunately, Game of Thrones is not my life either, but it helps get my mind off my life.

That’s it. Basically I am alive. And I have cake.

D.

Listen to: Claudinho Brasil & Harmonika – O Fortuna 

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